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It's okay if Christmas 2020 isn't perfect

There I said it. It’s okay if this Christmas isn’t perfect, or magical, or live up to your dreams this year. Christmas 2020 looks different for many of us than year’s past and it’s okay to feel sad. For me, I’m missing my parents. They aren’t traveling because of COVID. I know many are probably in the same boat, or even dealing with a family member who is sick with COVID and may not be there on Christmas day. It’s okay to feel sad, but I hope you join me in trying to make the most of it. I’ll tell you how I plan on doing that later in this blog post.

But first, this picture. My mom took this photo on Christmas Day last year. Boston had strep throat and was miserable. Despite all my planning, preparation, and time spent picking out the “perfect” gift,  it didn’t matter. I feel in a way dealing with a disappointing Christmas got me prepared for whatever Christmas was going to throw at me this year.

Christmas 2019 when Boston had strep throat

Boston started coughing and crying a lot on Christmas Eve so we went to find an Urgent Care that was still open. I called around to a few places and finally found one that was going to close in one hour. We got there just in time to be seen by a doctor.

 After a few tests, the doctor told me he had strep throat. Poor guy.  He was literally miserable. He cried constantly and was just uncomfortable. I got his medicine and just prayed he felt better in the morning, but he didn’t and was up most of the night crying and coughing. So after a hard night, I was hopeful all the Christmas gifts would be distraction, but they weren’t. I remember at first feeling a bit devastated in a way. I literally planned for months. I wanted it to be perfect. I imagined it being perfect and it wasn’t. At least not to the standard I had set.

As I held Boston and looked at how much he needed me that day, it made me so very thankful. He didn’t care about the presents. He just wanted me to comfort him in that moment and that moment just happened to be on Christmas morning. Nothing mattered more than me being there for him on a day he needed his mommy most.

 

Christmas 2019

Boston literally didn’t even want anyone looking at him. He just wanted me. All of my time was consumed with comforting him. It was tough but necessary at the time.

I say all this because I know this Christmas may look very different for many of us. For me, I’ll be missing my parents on Christmas Day who aren’t traveling because of COVID. I’m sure many of you are missing loved ones too and I’m sure some family members will be sick or quarantined on Christmas day. If you are disappointed or let down, it’s okay. 

It’s also okay to feel upset, but I hope you can find moments of happiness. For me, I’ll be doing the following.

  1. Be present and thankful – I plan to focus on what’s right in front me and remind myself of what I am most thankful for on Christmas and everyday of the year – my husband and kids. This momentI will never get it back, so I better make the most of it .
  2. Face-time or video chat with family – Since I can’t see them in person, the second best thing is Face-time! My husband recently had COVID and I didn’t so the kids and I were separated from him. It was so hard not seeing him but Face-timing him (even in the same house) made it so better. It kept him involved in what was happening and felt like he was some-what taking part.
  3. Don’t Compare This Christmas to Others– It’s so easy to get wrapped up in “last year, I did this” or “saw this person on Christmas” or “two years ago, we traveled to Colorado for Christmas”, but let’s all do ourselves a big favor and not compare. There has never been another year in my lifetime that even comes close to 2020. The quarantines, the masks, the school closures, and the list goes on. So there is no point to compare Christmas 2020 to any other Christmas. It won’t be the same.

If someone would have warned me last year, that no matter what I did, Christmas was going to pretty much suck. It would have saved me a bunch of time and emotions. So consider this your warning and despite this year being different and maybe not the best Christmas ever, I wish you and your family the best 🙂

Here’s to hoping this is how our Christmas turns out, but being okay if it doesn’t.
This was certainly not how I planned out our pregnancy announcement pic, but it was perfect in that moment.

Before things got bad.

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